I hit one of my lowest points in 2010. I was a senior in high school and fell into very bad habits. I was diagnosed with anorexia but had a very hard time accepting it. I spent every spare moment doing anything I could to burn calories – walking or running on the treadmill, biking, outside walking or running. I restricting myself as often as possible, I would go hours without food or just pick at the lowest calorie “diet” foods. I never let anyone see that I was starving myself because when people were around, I binged like crazy. After a binged, I would feel terrible, talk poorly to myself, tell myself I was fat and spend any moment I could working the food off. The feeling of hunger became so normal to me; I got some sort of high off my stomach feeling empty or growling. Seeing how long I could go without food was a game for me, a very unhealthy game.
I spent 4 years well under 100 pounds (5’2); my lowest weight was 79lbs. I was weak, had little to no energy, slept any chance I could and never spent time socializing with friends or family. I can only imagine that I was the least fun to be around.
Fast forward to sophomore year-senior year in college (2012-2014) I had gained nearly 50 pounds in the matter of months. I went from being 80 pounds soaking wet to 130 pounds. Though I gained the weight back, I was still very unhealthy and felt very uncomfortable. I went through the typical college phase, drinking often, eating junk and consistently doing my daily cardio to “work off the weekend.” It wasn’t until my senior year in college that I finally decided to commit to finding a healthy lifestyle.
I remember so clear, February 2014 I was in my college apartment getting ready for a night out to celebrate my birthday, my room was a disaster, nothing fit right, nothing looked cute, I felt so uncomfortable, I hated what I was looking at in the mirror. After trying on every outfit in my closest, in tears, I crawled back into my pajamas and opened my laptop. I researched everything I possibly could on nutrition and weight training. I reached out to a girl I knew was very into fitness looking for any information I could possibly get. That night, that awful feeling of being so uncomfortable with how I felt inside and how I felt looking into the mirror, changed my life.
I started weight training and eating a healthy, nutritious diet in 2015 and have since then only increased my knowledge and bettered myself. I started seeing my body change physically and also my mental thoughts changing. I fell in love with how eating a nutritious diet and training made me feel. My mind and my body were finally at peace; I felt balance and loved being able to live my life while also living the fitness lifestyle.
Of course! I was hungry for more, I wanted to know more and challenge my body. I found a trainer at LA Fitness in February 2015. I trained for 6+ months and gained so much knowledge on training and nutrition. I felt extremely comfortable and confident in the gym and extremely motivated! Fitness quickly became my passion, something that was extremely important in my day-to-day life. After switching gyms, meeting a ton of great people, learning more every single day, challenging my body and mind, playing around with tracking my macros, I decided it was time to do even MORE. I am always looking to gain more knowledge and push myself in order to see what my body is capable of. The stage had been something on my mind and I knew prepping was a goal I wanted to achieve down the road but also knew I had a lot of work to do and a lot to learn about fitness, nutrition and myself.
Fast forward to now! I am very comfortable with my body, mind, lifestyle and have great balance with my diet and training – thank you Caryn!!! : ) We have spent the past 7 weeks together and I can’t thank her enough for the knowledge, the confidence, the mindset and overall happiness I have gained in such a short period of time! I live my life, I socialize, I work full time, have a boyfriend, a family and 2 nieces that I incorporate into my every single day along with reaching my fitness goals. Now! I am ready to push myself! My goal is to keep a healthy metabolism, increase my calories properly and continue to train hard and smart in order to gain more muscle. I am still training with Caryn in hopes to compete in my first bikini competition in fall of 2017 and have future plans to transform my career into the nutrition and fitness world! I am so excited for what is to come – Caryn and I have some awesome goals set and I am so confident the process is going to be a blast!
I share my story in hopes to motivate even just one person to never give up. No matter how hard life gets or how scared and defeated you might feel, every single day is a day to start fresh. I look back now never having expected to come as far as I have. It is truly a lifestyle and I am forever grateful I found my passion!